We can borrow dad's ute to cart our rubbish away. We'll need to get some tip passes off Helen and Ron though, or we'll have to pay to dump it all. There's probably a ute load of rubbish we can get rid of.

I have had pretty much my fill of annoyance lately. I have a much lower tolerance for stupid questions and rubbish jobs to do. Dad keeps asking me stupid shit about the computers that I can't answer. He has such an accusing tone when he asks me stuff too, like I set out to crash a programme or I set shit up so it doesn't work. That just gets on my tits so much. Mum ends up having a word or two with him when he gets like that, but still. I don't need crap like that.

Plus, there's other work. Oh how I need to get away from everyone. I know I have only 5 months left there but it's killing me NOW.

Tonight will bring more rubbish shuffling and hopefully by this weekend we can cart it all away and just be left with the 'essentials'. I get so mad at how stupidly small our house is, and how there is NO storage space for anything in there. Our garage pretty much fits just a car in there (I doubt the Camry would fit though, it seems too long). Such a small garage means no where to store furniture. At the moment Ron has used it as his shit storing place. About 50 half used tins of paint and old crapped out tools etc litter most of it. Then there's the shitty barbeque that we were nicely give. And our bikes. I also use the garage to dry my laundry when it rains (we have a clothes line in there). I know laundry will be out of the question when we're moving stuff coz the machine has to go too, but just knowing I won't have anywhere to hang my clothes coz it's raining just irriates me too.

I would love if they did it next week, just to get this out of the way. Just so it's one less thing to stress about constantly. I knew it would be a big job but it's one I don't want to think about.

I should be more thankful. I really should. We're getting new carpet and blinds. That's fantastic. All we need now is a huge roof restoration. We get mould all over our ceilings and Jason needs to get up on a ladder and wipe it all off with bleach. And everyone knows mould on a roof is no good. It's EVERYWHERE, no exaggeration. All over our bedroom ceiling (it covers about 70%), all over our bathroom ceiling (because there is NO ventilation in there), all above the window in the dining room and all through the front of the house. I am so pissed off with Ron and the dodgy workmanship of the house. He 'fixes' things. Sure. He gets up there, makes a huge mess, leaves it and that's it. Our hot water system sucks arse, our wiring is all dodgy and it's just a shit hole to live in. And we're throwing a baby to the mix. Fabulous.

The thing is that with a baby coming and me with my income halved (morning work is flexible and I'll still get some money there) we can't really afford the rent for anywhere else. Jason's a shit when it comes to town houses or units (he doesn't like them) so we'd need to rent a house. We can pretty much double what we're paying now. We don't have the money for it. So we're stuck where we are for the time being. Hooray, huh?

Enough now, I have to go.

href="http://enetation.co.uk/comments.php?user=spangers&commentid=06081">Comment

Jason now has to clean out the baby room (his rubbish is still everywhere), clean out his wardrobe and draws (full of clothes he never wears, shoes he never wears) and we have to empty the computer room. So, now we know how much work is ahead of us what is he doing tonight? Do I hear a big fat "nothing at all" from the audience? If so *bing bing bing* you all win! He's playing a new game. Because it's more important than actually getting a move on most of this stuff of course. Why would we want to dent the rubbish pile? We have PLENTY of time, don't we?

I am so very happy I'm pregnant at the moment because it means no heavy lifting. I don't want to be responsible for ruining the new lino and carpets when we drag the shit through our house.

My blood is boiling at the moment, it's not funny.

I had my doctor appointment today. Yes, it's three days early because lo and behold - I have another UTI. That's right, my good people, I'm on my third round of antibiotics. My blood pressure is up (is it any wonder) and I've put on 1.5 kilos (although, I lost 4 kilos between 6 and 12 weeks). And the bub's heart is beating away merrily. Hearing the heartbeat apparently lowered my blood pressure but not enough, so she's still concerned a bit.

The bub scared me a bit today. She was trying to find its heartbeat and spent ages just rubbing around my tummy trying to find it. I was pretty much holding my breath and about to cry when she finally found the little cheek and we got to hear the wooshing. That made my day. Tonight broke my day. Never can have an up without a down can I?

She was a little bit concerned that I wasn't my 'usual' self. I just said I was tired and sick and that I put it down to the UTI. I was desperate to ask her to medically give me a week off work but I didn't have the nerve. I'll just put up with it, what else can I do?

I am so mad right now, and I was going to write an entry tonight anyway when I was happier (like 30 minutes ago) and that all flew through the window after we went to visit Helen and Ron. I have a lot of trouble listening to people lately, there just seems to be too much in my head at the moment and I can't cope with a lot of stimulation. I find it hard even talking one on one with people. A lot of light, noise and movement just about knock me over. Helen and Ron bicker a lot and it was hurting my head so much tonight. I have a lot of trouble concentrating when I drive too. It's like my eyes go funny, then my head starts aching and I just feel like closing my eyes and sleeping.

Oh God, my head is going to explode. I really want to go to a movie but I just know the noise and the screen will screw with my head and make me cry. I cry at a lot of stuff and too much stimulation is one of the things that can set me off. Apparently so is the concept of getting new carpet.

I need my mum so much. I need someone else other than Jason because if I have to keep looking at him I'll go mad (well, even more so). I wanted to tell my doctor about this stupid hormonal madness that is happening with me but I got too scared. Again, is it any wonder my blood pressure is up?

Plus the two BabyCentre sites (the UK and US ones) have confused the hell out of me. The US one say's I'm 16 weeks, the UK says I'm 17 weeks. Which one is the right one? The UK one shows week 17 to start at 16 weeks and 1 day. The US one shows week 16 starting at 16 weeks and no days. It just seems screwy that sister websites would have such stupidly differing information. How hard is it to collaborate and make one information set for the topic?

Anyway, in other baby related news my foetal anatomy ultrasound is on the 20th August. I'll be 18 weeks and a couple of days. The hospital I'm going to is getting me in at 19 weeks for my first antenatal clinic check up so they want the ultrasound to be done before that. I'm worried that it'll be done too early but I guess they'll be able to get accurate information and that a couple of days won't hurt. I'll be about 5 days or so before my appointment but I need to take the results in with me, so then I need to have them processed in enough time etc. I'm sure it'll be ok. It should be fine. I asked my doctor when I should get it done and she said at least 2 working days before because of the time they need to process the results. Bloody hell.

I asked her today about the AFP or Triple Screen and she said that I really shouldn't get another screening test done because I've already had the first trimester Down Syndrome screen and if the results differ then I'll worry. She said that with the foetal anatomy ultrasound they should be able to tell if there are any spinal abnormalities (which is what I'm really worried about). If things are inconclusive I'll probably go out of my mind.

The bub better give us the goods on that day! I'm telling ya, if I have to go another 22 weeks of not knowing if the bub is a boy or a girl I'll be so frustrated. I'm not one for 'surprises'. I want to be able to stereotypically dress my child in pink or blue, I want to buy it dolls or cars. I want to pick a name. That's my biggest thing, a name. Sure, it's good to have a back up name anyway incase the ultrasound is wrong but having something to go with would be great.

Enough psychotic rambling. Too tired to be bothered sitting up now. This hormone stuff is crazy.